ponderings of the sick...

n just 24 hours, I have been through 1 bottle of Tylenol, almost 4 boxes of tissues, 3 Gatorades, 3 nausea tablets, 4 tablets of tamiflu, 3 tablets of an antibiotic and 2 packets of ramen noodles… have had my blood checked twice, 2 urine tests, 1 chest x-ray and one long q-tip shoved up my nose almost to my eyeball and have almost completed a tube of Burt’s bees chapstick due to the fact I can’t breathe out of my nose and now have severely chapped lips – I have reached a temperature of 102.6 three times, hyperventilated due to dehydration and took a nap while waiting for the doctor and have only had a total of about 3 hours of sleep...

On my way to bed, I take the current bottle of Gatorade I’m drinking, an unopened Gatorade bottle, the bottle of nausea medicine, the bottle of Tylenol, a new box of tissues and my thermometer with me in case for some reason I may need any of these items before I awaken and return back to my spot on the couch in the morning…

During this sickness, it has allowed me to just ponder a few things...

Why aren’t tissues softer? (even if they have lotion in them)

How come no matter how many times you blow your nose it does nothing…?

Is it sad to count down the time until I can take the next prescribed medication?

How high is my heating bill going to be this month?

Why does my couch feel more comfortable than my bed?

Why must it be so hard to get into those plastic wrappers that pills come in – if it’s a flu medication, don’t they realize I’m weak?

Why is Gatorade so hard to rip from the pack – if it’s to hydrate me from the flu, don’t they realize I’m weak?

The tissues on my floor make it look like it has snowed an inch or two inside.

What happens when you beat all the available levels on angry birds?

How long can I use the excuse of being sick to not clean my apartment … at all